Name: Paul 'Mummy's Boy' Murphy
Age: 34
What's the story: If his mother lets him out for the day this philosophical slap head could be a contender. But so could all the superstars. Not particularly strong in any event but not crap at any either. A top three finish would tickle his prawn... if he had one. Last place wouldn't surprise him.
Joker Round: Ten Pin Bowling
Chances: Mid-bottom of the table
Name: Boo 'Stone Cold Gentleman'
Age: 33
What's the story: He's a lover not a fighter. But, if he can stay awake for the day this stone cold gentleman will be fighting all the way to the end. He's likely to cause a stir in some events but will probably struggle in the table football. Not to be underestimated.
Joker Round: Ten Pin Bowling
Chances: Probably a mid table finish.
Name: John 'Slippery Nipple' Catterfeld
Age: 29
What's the story: Having won his own winter superstars twice in the past the nipple meister should not be taken lightly. He's good at every event, is competitive and his girlfriend collects trophies. Joint favourite with The Daddy.
Joker Round: Table Tennis
Chances: Odds even.
Name: Joel 'Silent Assasin' Wyart
Age: 29
What's the story: It wouldn't surprise anyone if this little tiger won every event. He's got a knack of being good at everything. Except drinking. [So event seven will now be a drinking competition - ED] Other competitors should be aware of his war cry. Don't p*ss him off. Trust me on this one.
Joker Round: Table Tennis
Chances: I'd be surprised if he wasn't in the top 3.
Name: Uncle Beefcake
Age: 34
What's the story: A big bad mother lover with a heart of gold. A two week training session in the USA recently means he will be better prepared than most. Watch out for him in the table tennis, bowling and pool. Is it me or does he look like Dr Turk from Scrubs?
Joker Round: Table Tennis
Chances: A little unpredictable but could be a threat to the top three.
Name: Matt 'The Daddy' Carter
Age: 33
What's the story: Rest assured that young Matty is currently at his local leisure centre getting some practise in. He will be bringing his blue eyes and lucky bag of spanners with him on the day. He wants this trophy and is odds on to get it.
Joker Round: Table Tennis
Chances: He'd say "fair to middling". We'd say better than that.
Name: Jason 'Red Bull' O'Donnell
Age: 34
What's the story: The Red Bull has every Winter Superstars event on his Wii so will probably have knocked up a hundred hours of virtual practice and bulging biceps. Likely to pimp the table football and wind The Daddy up in the process. If he's not allowed to bring his packed lunch into the leisure centre there could be trouble.
Joker Round: Table Football
Chances: As good as anybody.
Name: Liam 'Big Bones' O'Sullivan
Age: 34
What's the story: If he were a car he'd be a Hummer. A big shiny one, with white wheels! And he's as likely to cruise or bulboze his way to a top three place as any of the big guns. Look out for him particularly in the bowling where a 200+ score is not unrealistic.
Joker Round: Ten Pin Bowling
Chances: Fat chance... I mean slim.
Name: Jake 'Hobbsy' Folkerd-Hobbs
Age: 35
What's the story: Jake is the least known competitor in terms if Winter Superstars ability. He's certainly one of the fittest though and definitely has a hunger for victory. You can smell it at "hello".
Joker Round: Table Tennis
Chances: He'll be there or there abouts.
Name: Mick 'The Boorgster' O'Sullivan
Age: 38
What's the story: Mick is the oldest competitor but is one of the power houses of winter sports. His bowling action resembles that of Ishmael Boorg. Is it really just coincidence that he looks like Randy Quaid.
Joker Round: Table Tennis
Chances: He'll be there or there abouts.